A Love for Living Dangerously
by Lys ap Adin
Summary: Squalo is Xanxus' man, which means he'll let her do whatever she wants with him. girl!Xanxus x Squalo, smut, light bondage, breathplay, and other fun stuff like that. Goes with "Demanding" and "Sugar and Spice."


**Title:** A Love for Living Dangerously**  
Characters/Pairings:** girl!Xanxus/Squalo**  
Summary:** Squalo is Xanxus' man, which means he'll let her do whatever she wants with him.**  
Notes:** Adult for smut, light bondage, breathplay, and intimations of D/s. Genderswap. Goes with "Demanding" and "Sugar and Spice." 3017 words.

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**A Love for Living Dangerously**

Squalo wasn't a fan of letting his boss go off to dinners at the main house all by herself—not because she couldn't take care of herself, far from it, but because sometimes she _didn't_ take care of herself out of some perverse stubbornness of her own, and he hated watching that happen. Not that he really thought the old man or his sons meant badly, not really, but it was God's own truth that neither Enrico nor Massimo or even the old man really understood Xanxus. They just didn't get the fire or the strength of her and kept trying to shape her into something she wasn't while they called it love.

To make things more difficult, Xanxus didn't have any kind of sense when it came to her family, not really. She trudged off to dinner with them whenever they called and Squalo couldn't find some reason to get her out of the commitment. She didn't trudge back afterwards: usually she came back in a rage, either a quiet one that left her lips pressed together tightly and didn't break until she'd broken something—a glass, somebody's arm, once a chair—or a loud one that ended with bullets flying and Squalo sparring with her till they were bloody, sweaty messes who couldn't move any more. And even after her temper had cooled off she went around brooding for days, until she managed to shake off whatever it was her idiot family had said or done _this_ time.

When the invitation showed up, Squalo scrambled to find a plausible reason for Xanxus not to take part in celebrating the end of Federico's peripatetic education, but couldn't. For a wonder, all the Vongola's many enemies were quiet or licking their wounds and the new batch of Varia recruits hadn't yet begun trickling in. There was nothing to excuse Xanxus from attending the dinner in Federico's honor, and if Squalo were any judge, the old man had planned it that way, the cagey bastard. Wasn't anything for it, anyway, except to wait till Xanxus had left to rush around, laying in antiseptic and bandages and putting the good glasses away in exchange for the cheap mismatched stuff that wouldn't destroy the Varia's budget when Xanxus smashed it. No sense in not being prepared, after all, and it kept Mammon from bitching about the waste.

When Xanxus came in, Squalo was settled on the couch, prepared for the worst and ready to come up fighting if he had to. He _wasn't_ prepared for Xanxus to given him an appraising look as he greeted her, or for her to stride over to him and plant a heavy hand against his chest to hold him in place as she looked down at him. Squalo looked back, baffled, because she wasn't swearing and she wasn't wearing that pinched expression that was the other normal result of extended exposure to her family.

She started plucking at his clothes instead, undoing buttons and pushing his jacket off his shoulders. Squalo moved to help, automatically, until she grunted at him. "Hold still."

Squalo blinked and did, puzzling over this strange mood until she leaned closer to push the jacket down his arms and he caught the scent of the wine on her breath. That explained a little of what was going on. Wasn't unusual for the old man to serve drinks with dinner, though Xanxus usually sneered at wine and went straight for the harder stuff, scotch and brandy and vodka, things that put a fire in her eyes and never seemed to affect her aim, no matter how much she'd had.

So that was one mystery dealt with, but it still didn't explain why Xanxus was bent over him and undressing him with her own two hands, concentrating so hard that there was a line drawing her brows together as she peeled Squalo out of the t-shirt he wore under his uniform. It obscured his vision for a moment as she pulled it over his head.

It never did to take one's eyes off Xanxus, even for a split second. While he was shaking the hair back from his eyes and wondering why Xanxus was having that much trouble clearing his hands—she couldn't be that drunk, could she?—Xanxus moved, hiking her skirt up her thighs and setting her knees on either side of Squalo's hips as she twisted the shirt around his wrists, using it to bind them together.

Squalo went still with surprise and the way all the blood in his body rushed straight to his cock. "Boss?" he said, careful to keep his voice neutral, careful not to assume or presume anything until she gave him some kind of hint about what she was thinking—

"Shut up." Her hand fell away from his wrists and circled around his throat, not tight enough to keep Squalo from sucking in a startled breath as her thumb stroked up his carotid artery and pressed against the underside of his chin, tilting it up.

Squalo opened his mouth to hers, groaning against it as Xanxus' tongue swept against his and his cock throbbed in his pants, achingly hard just from this. Her mouth still tasted a little bit of wine, something sweet and complicated and meant for desserts. She kissed him slowly, like she meant to take her time with it—fuck, Squalo thought dizzily, she probably did.

That thought pulled another groan out of him. So did the way Xanxus' fingers tightened on his throat, subtly, as he shifted his arms, settling the bundle of his wrists behind his head more comfortably. She had to have felt the way his pulse sped up at that and the way his breath hitched; he certainly felt the way her mouth moved against his, curling a bit as he stilled beneath her obediently.

Her other hand swept up his side and splayed itself over his ribs, counting them off and tracing over the patterns of old scars and newer ones, running over the places where the keloids were still shiny and pink and the places where they'd already faded to white. She'd given him some of those scars herself, but she touched them all, fingers wandering over them impartially as she kissed him, until Squalo felt shivery inside his own skin, sensitized to every light brush of her fingertips.

He groaned again when Xanxus lifted her hands away from him and pulled away from his mouth. When he lifted his head and looked, she was drawing back from him, stripping out of her shirt and unhooking her bra. That was worth losing her hands on his skin, definitely, so he stared, drinking in the paleness of her skin and the fullness of her breasts until he realized that she was watching him. Her eyes were dark when he met them; she looked like she was weighing something in her head.

Squalo raised his eyebrows at her since he wasn't sure whether her proscription against speaking was still in place. Xanxus huffed out a breath and leaned in again. Her breasts were soft against his chest and her teeth were sharp when they closed on his lip. Squalo just groaned with that, closing his eyes and shifting under her, spreading his knees wider and trying to relieve some of the tightness of his pants. Xanxus' teeth tightened against his lip, enough to sting, as she growled something at him, a warning. Then her hand slid down his stomach and over the front of his pants.

Squalo shuddered at the warm, heavy pressure of it; it took an enormous effort to keep his hips from lifting and rolling against her hand. He trembled with it, panting for breath, and was rewarded when Xanxus huffed again and stroked her tongue over his lower lip. "Don't you dare come yet."

Squalo thought she might have been waiting for a response and managed to eke out a strangled, "Yes, Boss." He'd guessed right, because she grunted her approval and thumbed the button on his fly and pulled the zip down. Squalo groaned with relief as she did, head falling back as she reached inside and pulled him out. Her fingers moved over the shape of his cock, still slow, like she was learning the shape of him. There was something curiously impersonal about it, something almost clinical in her expression, but that didn't stop pleasure from dancing over his nerves until he had to bite down on his lip himself to keep from rocking into that methodical touch.

He was on the verge of begging by the time Xanxus glanced at him again. Her eyes were still unreadable, dark beneath her lashes. "Enjoying this?" she asked as her thumb moved back and forth over his head.

Squalo thought he might have whimpered, something inarticulate and hoarse climbing out of his throat and passing for _yes_.

Her mouth curved, just faintly, and her fingers wrapped tighter around him. "You can come now," she said as she stroked him hard.

Some lightheaded part of his brain wanted to protest, wanted to ask about her, but he couldn't, not when the heat contracted on him at the casual command. It tore through him as he bucked into her fist, coming so hard that his vision whited out and his throat felt scraped raw with the sounds he made.

Xanxus was still perched over him, one hand gripping his shoulder for balance, when he came back down. When Squalo looked up at her dazedly, she was watching him. Her expression would have been unreadable even if his brain hadn't just melted out his ears.

Squalo had to swallow a couple of times and wet his lips before he could manage speech. "Fuck, Boss..."

Her hand was still between his legs, sticky fingers playing with skin that was almost oversensitive, dancing on the edge of what was bearable. "You like this," she said, finally. It was half a question and half a statement.

There was no way in hell he had the kind of brains left to manage this kind of conversation, so he didn't bother trying to puzzle his way to the right answer. Squalo rested his head against the bundle of his wrists and gave her the simple, true one instead. "I love it," he said as her fingers moving over him made his cock wonder whether it might be able to get up and go again.

Xanxus' fingers froze on him and she stared at him. Then the hand on his shoulder gripped tighter, enough to maybe leave a bruise and to penetrate through some of the haze fogging Squalo's brain. "Do you?"

"Fuck, yes," Squalo breathed as something hot and possibly suicidal uncurled in the pit of his stomach in response to the way her eyes sparked. "Anything you want, Boss. That's just fine by me."

There was no way she could mistake his response, not when his cock was twitching in her hand, answering the way her eyes had flared and the way her fingers were digging into his shoulder. Xanxus stared at him for a moment before her hand loosened on his shoulder and slid sideways, wrapping around his throat tight enough that Squalo could feel his pulse beginning to pound. Her grip was tight enough to constrict his breathing; black spots swam in front of his eyes and his cock throbbed in her fist.

Just when he wasn't sure whether he was going to last much longer without sliding down into unconsciousness, her grip eased and he was able to suck in a lungful of air under the weight of her hand and her stare. "Your man," he told her, hearing the hoarseness of his own voice, when he caught a second breath. "You can do whatever you want with me."

The seconds ticked past as she looked down at him. Then she snorted and stood. "Lie down," she said as her hands went to her skirt.

"Yes, Boss." Squalo couldn't quite contain his smile as her skirt slid down her hips and her panties followed it. He wriggled around, stretching out on the couch and hooking his wrists over the arm of it, and watched her—bare and gorgeous and more dangerous than any three men put together—as she hooked her fingers in the waistband of his pants and underwear and dragged them down his thighs. Xanxus just rolled her eyes at him when she caught him doing it, and threw a knee over his hips to straddle him. Then she sank down on his cock with a low, breathless sound.

Squalo groaned, fingers clutching at the cotton of his shirt as her body wrapped around him, tight and slick, and fixed his eyes on Xanxus. She leaned over him, eyes half-lidded and lips parted, and planted a hand on his chest as she raised herself up and rocked down on him again, fucking herself on his cock. Her hips moved fast, the pace of them urgent as she panted over him, until she bore down on him. She ground against his hips as she slid her fingers down between her legs to stroke herself until her body seized on his, wringing tight. Squalo watched her, breathless with the way her muscles rippled around him and how she groaned, arching over him, riding it out.

She seemed a little surprised that he was still hard when she opened her eyes again. Squalo shrugged at her as best as he could with his hands bound up—wasn't like he was going to come off fast again the second time. Xanxus snorted at him, rocking against him and making a sound that was almost pleased as his cock slid deeper. Squalo sighed at that, shuddering as the slow rock of her hips added to the pleasant tension threading through him.

Then her hands spread against his chest. "The fuck am I doing all the work for?" Her teeth were showing between her lips, just a little.

Squalo couldn't quite help the laugh that bubbled out of him. "Sorry, Boss." He drew a knee up, planting it against the cushion, and rocked his hips up to meet hers, driving a groan out Xanxus as he pressed deeper, fucking her harder. He let the sounds she made guide him as she arched and flexed over him, her eyes going hazy, until his thighs were burning and he was panting with how close he was.

Xanxus looked down at him when he made a sound, something inarticulate and entreating, and her teeth showed again. "Put your back into it," she told him, and gasped when he obeyed, hips slamming up against hers, cock driving against her harder and faster. She swore, something inarticulate, urging him on as she ground down against him. She gripped his shoulders and panted as he spread his feet wider and fucked her, trying to find the angle that would send her off again, until she gasped, arching over him and shaking as she threw her head back, eyes squeezed shut.

Squalo groaned, hips jerking against hers as he chased the same edge she'd found, heat and need twining through him, but it wasn't until she'd opened her eyes and looked at him and curved her fingers around his throat again to hold him that he found it. He groaned as pleasure swept him down, breaking him into a thousand pieces with its fierceness.

It took him a long time to pull himself back together. Xanxus was still spread over him when he finally managed it, sprawled across his chest in a lazy drape, and his arms were numb with how long they'd been trapped over his head. "Jesus, Boss," he managed, finally.

Xanxus grunted something against his shoulder, apparently not inclined to move, and didn't stir when he lifted his arms and shook them free of his shirt. Squalo grimaced at the tingle of blood flowing back into them, and then realized that he wasn't sure where to put his hands now that they were free.

Well, if she were going to kill him for his impudence, she probably would have done that already this evening, he decided, and tucked a hand under his head as he settled his other arm around her.

The curve of Xanxus' back went tense under his hand and then relaxed again; her breath gusted against his throat, warm, as she snorted. Since she couldn't see him, he permitted himself a smile before indulging his curiosity. "So who did you kill at dinner?" That had to have been what had put her into such a relaxed mood. "Enrico?" He was probably her least favorite family member; Squalo had a bet going with himself over how long it was going to be before Enrico finally met with a fatal accident.

Xanxus' breath brushed against his throat again as she huffed. "Didn't kill anyone."

"Huh." So much for that theory. "Maim him instead?" This was Xanxus, after all.

"Don't be an idiot."

Squalo raised his eyebrows at the ceiling. "Sorry, Boss."

Xanxus left him to wonder what had happened for a while longer before she finally said, "Federico wants to meet you."

It didn't quite register at first that _that_ was her explanation. When it did, Squalo blinked a little at the ceiling, wondering at it. "Okay." He'd figured that it would have to happen sooner or later; everyone knew that the old man was going to leave it all to his youngest son. Professionalism and his own curiosity made him ask, "What's he like?"

"He's not actually an idiot." Xanxus stirred against him and Squalo realized, belatedly, that he was stroking her back.

But she didn't tell him to stop and he liked living dangerously, so he kept going, running his hands up and down the sleek curve of her spine. "That'll make for a refreshing change."

Xanxus didn't answer him immediately, but when she did, it was to say, "Yeah. Yeah, I think it will."

And when Squalo finally met Federico Vongola a few days later, he understood what she'd meant.

**end**

This fic brought to you by my ongoing end-of-the-year attempts to clean out my WIP-stash. *tips hat* Comments are always lovely!


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